Sunday, July 30, 2017

Man Charged With "Teasing" Police Horse Outside Wrigley Field (And Other Recent Weirdness)

A 54-year-old North Center man is charged with teasing a police animal (yes, that’s what the crime is called) and other misdemeanors after a dust-up with cops outside of Wrigley Field on Monday.

Marshall | Chicago Police Dept
Mounted police officers ordered Roland Marshall to get out of the middle of Clark and Addison around 1:30 p.m. as the Cubs were facing off against the White Sox, according to court records.

Instead, Marshall “became verbally aggressive” and “maliciously struck Chicago Police Department mount ‘Mahoney’ with two open hands” before walking back into the street, police said.

Cops say Marshall stiffened up when they tried to arrest him, forcing officers to perform an “emergency take-down maneuver.”

Marshall is charged with resisting police, obstruction of traffic by a non-motorist, and the previously-mentioned teasing of a police animal. He remains jailed in lieu of $5,000 bail.

Stop The Leaks!

Ruane | Chicago Police Dept
A Wrigleyville bar manager was allegedly attacked when he tried to stop a woman who was urinating on the bar’s floor, prosecutors say.

24-year-old Neal Ruane of Mount Greenwood allegedly slammed the manager onto the floor and battered him as the victim tried to stop the woman’s “unwanted leak” at HVAC, 3530 North Clark, around 11 p.m. on Monday.

Police said the manager suffered abrasions to his knees and elbows, but refused medical attention.

Ruane is charged with battery.

What Not To Swear

Ortega | Chicago Police Dept
Cops who responded to a disturbance in a women’s restroom near the Navy Pier food court last Saturday evening got an earful from 28-year-old Carmen Ortega, police said.

Ortega grabbed a male officer’s name plate and asked, “Who the f**k are you, bitch? I’ll f**k you up, you fat mother f**ker spick bitch,” according to court records.

Ortega then swung at the cop, who moved out of the way. “You scared, bitch,” Ortega allegedly asked.

At that point, Ortega allegedly grabbed the cop’s name tag again and said, “I’m going to f**k you up. My father is the police. His name is Jose. He’s going to f**k you up at home.”

The officer then “performed an emergency takedown” of Ortega to the bathroom floor.

Ortega, of the Brighton Park neighborhood, is charged with battery, aggravated assault of a police officer, resisting police, and criminal trespass to land.

City records show that there is no Chicago police officer named Jose Ortega.
Email      Facebook       Twitter       YouTube


  1. HVAC has become one of the worst bars along Clark near Wrigley, rivaling Sluggers for most douche bags per square foot. And if you walk by there at dawn be sure to check out the rat parade behind the bar by their garbage, truly frightening. I miss the Wild Hare.

  2. Look at little Carmen's pursed lips in her mugpuss. So upset and entitled. Who's fucking up who now, Carmen? Karma is a real bitch, isn't it!!

  3. Whenever someone says the term "douchebag Cubs fan," Neal Ruane will be the face my mind will conjure. Thanks for that.

    And great touch about Jose Ortega!

    1. You're a dope! Mt. Greenwood is a south side neighborhood. Also, a simple Google search of Neal would have les you tonhis FB pageon which there are pics of him in Sox gear. Use your noggin' next time you attenpt to troll.

    2. Hmmmmmm...Mt. Greenwood ? Cubs fan?...I doubt it.

  4. What about the Girl who pee ed on the floor? No charges?

    1. She pees on the floor and he takes the charges!? She must be a catch. LOL ... such a great Wrigleyville love story. Now I'm imagining her telling her future grandchildren about the time she realized that grandpa was "the one".

  5. Too bad the police horse didn't kick a hoof into that moron's nuts. Don't fuck with police animals!!!!

    1. Effingham J. BellweatherJul 31, 2017, 12:59:00 AM

      Now that would have been funny!

    2. If you screw with a police animal you deserve to get your ass kicked.