Friday, April 28, 2017

Cops: Lakeview Man Put Poop Under Noisy Neighbor's Door 'Cuz Urine Didn't Quiet Them Down—"I Had To Step It Up"

A Lakeview man poured “liquid feces” under a neighbor’s apartment door because he had to "step it up" after plain old urine failed to get the occupants to quiet down, according to police.

29-year-old engineer Alan Q. Clay pleaded guilty to criminal damage to property last week and received a sentence of two years supervised release, according to court records.

Around 8 p.m. on January 23, a 20-year-old woman reported that liquid poo had been dumped under her apartment door on the 55th floor of a high rise in the 600 block of West Irving Park Road.

The woman told cops that she had previously caught Clay—who lives below her on the 54th floor—“pouring urine into her unit.” She suspected that Clay was also responsible for the poo blast, police said.

At the police station, Clay engaged in one of the better post-Miranda warning statements that we’ve seen lately, according to his arrest report:
“The arrestee related that he spoke with the building management about noise coming from the victim’s unit, but they failed to take action.
He then stated, ‘after a while, I did prank them with urine. It seemed effective. It was the only way we could communicate.'
[An officer] asked, ‘What’s up with the shit?’
‘Well, I had to step it up.’”
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32 comments:

  1. Seems like something a perfectly rational grown man would do, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look. Talking to them face-to-face in a civil manner NEVER works.

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    2. What a shitty neighbor.

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  2. Twin of the guy who lost all his kitchen gear in a 'robbery'?

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  3. Did it work ? ? ?

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  4. The 655 Irving...like living in an overpriced dorm.

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  5. Another plea deal from Fox? Why won't Fox prosecute? Never mind, it is not $1000

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  6. Well, when the first option fails to work, there's always option #2.

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    Replies
    1. Dang, that was good.

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  7. I'm picturing poor Alan going through his tupperwear collection to find that appropriate holder to take it down in the elevator.

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  8. Certainly irrational but being in the same situation with a noisy neighbor and unresponsive management (for over year) i can see how he lost it.

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    1. Yup. There are also renters in condo buildings that actually have more equity in their unit (zero) because the "owners" are underwater but the renters have no say so in anything and just have to put up with it because they don't "own" anything there. Actually, there was an article about this issue about 8 years ago. I rented in a condo building twice and would NEVER do it again. It's akin to being that "contract" employee at a major corporation.

      Delete
    2. Oh, I'm sure most of us have bad renting experience. But this does seem ... extreme. Surely this guy could stick it out a few months and find a new apartment?? Now, he's probably going to have a really hard time finding a new landlord.

      My worst experience ever was a large vintage courtyard building with zero soundproofing. As angry as I would feel towards certain neighbors, my only thought was "when can I move?" not, "what can I do to get even".

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    3. Landlords and management companies are desperate to rent in Chicago. Throughout the years 3 of them didn't even run a credit report on me although I paid for one in the "application fee".

      Furthermore both condos I rented in very fancy Lakeview East and the other in VERY hot Andersonville were both VACANT for months before I took occupancy.

      Delete
  9. Next time don't confess!

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  10. Management doesn't care as long as the assessments are paid on time.

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    Replies
    1. Landlords don't care as long as they receive your rent check to pay the assessments on time either......before their ship totally sinks.

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  11. Having lived below an insanely loud neighbor that refused to work with us, I totally get it....

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  12. The turd time is always a charm. LOL

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  13. Well this is just a shitty situation all around.

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  14. All this other serious crime in Lakeview - car jackings, hold ups and gun point, and this stupid article gets the most comments. Sheesh!!

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    1. I'm interested in his methodology. Did he alter his diet or take a laxative to make his stool more liquid? What kind of container did he use? Did he pour it from a standstill, or did he whip his arm to create some forward momentum in the hope that some would pass clear under the door?

      Many unanswered questions here.

      Delete
  15. Even though this guy was wrong for his actions, many of us who have endured noisy neighbors can empathize. I would not call this guy a criminal, and think you went a bit too far by publishing his name and picture. This story was not reported elsewhere online. Your blog post could hurt him professionally.

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    Replies
    1. Yes. I agree.
      If I was looking to hire an engineer, there's just no way I'd want to know that he was pouring poop and pee into his neighbor's place. 'Cause in no way would that serve as a warning sign for abborant behavior in the office. Not at all.
      And I wouldn't call him a criminal either. 'Cause the whole poop and pee thing isn't criminal at all. Nope. Not a bit.

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    2. Vandalism is a crime, that's what this was.

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  16. Did he liquify the poo himself? Or did he just wait for the morning after a burrito dinner? Was it even his? Could it have been a dog's? Did he ruin a decent Calphalon pot for this "prank"? I have millions of questions!?

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    Replies
    1. I know, so many questions, right?

      He is an engineer, so maybe there was some innovation involved, lol. Or, not.

      Delete
  17. Give's a whole new meaning to "living in a dump".

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  18. 20 something women can sometimes make the worst neighbors. I had 2 that were in graduate school and their families paid their rent. There was frequent parties with drunken frat boys fighting and young ladies passing out in our lobby.

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  19. Poop and pee are hazardous and vandalizing property. This guy went to the extreme and deserves what he got in the end.

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  20. Eat shit, noisy neighbors! This guy is my hero!

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