Saturday, April 05, 2014

PLAY-BY-PLAY: Stupidity From The Cubs Home Opener

Image: Deadspin
Here's the police activity tick-tock from Cubs opening day:

12:15PM — Well before the first pitch, we have our first arrest. Transportation is needed at Gate J for a man who damaged a police vehicle.

4:36PM — The manager is detaining a guy who tried to punch a doorman at Rebel, 3462 N. Clark.

4:45PM — A man claims to have a broken ankle at Rebel. Send ambulance.

4:51PM — Two arrested at Rebel.

5:07PM — One arrest at 1044 Waveland.

5:34PM — Ambulance needed for a "woman who can't walk" at Old Crow Smokehouse, 3510 N. Clark.

5:44PM — A woman walking past Halsted and Roscoe notices a 45-year-old man lying "partially in the street and partially on the sidewalk." He's wearing a blue jacket. Ambulance 31 scoops him up.

5:57PM — Manager of Cubby Bear tells police that two patrons got into a fight and have dispersed on their own. One is bleeding, but walks away.

6:27PM — Battery outside of the Captain Morgan Club at Sheffield and Addison. Ambulance is called for a "victim/offender" who has a cut over his eye. Battery case HX211060.
Lazarus. (center, bottom)

6:35PM — They're fighting inside Al's Italian Beef, 3420 N. Clark.

6:52PM — Send EMS to Addison and Wilton for "a guy so drunk he can't get up."

6:55PM — Cancel the ambulance at Addison and Wilton. Officer: "Like Lazarus, he got up again."

8:05PM — "Numerous" calls of a crowd fighting near the Cubs apparel store at Clark and Addison.

8:54PM — An off-duty suburban police officer is reportedly knocked to the ground and hits his head on the curb outside of Slugger's bar, 3540 N. Clark. The officer is taken to Illinois Masonic.

9:40PM — An intoxicated woman has "hit her face on the sidewalk" outside of Mullen's, 3527 N. Clark. Kindly send an ambulance, please.

10:32PM — A man is passed out in the stairwell of an apartment building near Clark and Cornelia. He's dressed in blue.

10:58PM — Man down outside of Old Crow Smokehouse. Send an ambulance.

11:17PM — "Disturbance" in front of Old Crow Smokehouse.

1:07AM — Man down after reportedly being punched at Clark and Eddy. Call an ambulance. Wait. Cancel the ambulance. He wants nothing to do with the police or paramedics.

1:22AM — Someone has broken out the glass on the front door of Emerald City coffee shop, 3938 N. Sheridan. Caller says the offender is a black guy. CTA security disagrees, insists the offender is Asian.

2:36AM — Send more cars for "a little problem" at the McDonalds near Wrigley Field. All is resolved by 2:36AM.
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  1. Only 80 more home games. Enjoy!!!!

  2. Lower the crime rate--close Rebel

  3. I think the hip lawyers, social justice warriors, and bar owners would rather residents just stay in their homes, shut up, and pay the taxes. That way we won't get mugged and divert valuable police resources away from where it's needed: over served drunk fights.

  4. All this and the Cubs want to serve booze year round in the new plaza they want in the triangle lot. WTF.

  5. Imagine the mayhem if opening day was 60 degrees and sunny, not 35 degrees with a 35 mph wind. Then we would have really seen what the future has to hold for summer.

  6. Lower the crime rate, close Wrigley Field!