Tuesday, April 15, 2014

ALDERMAN TUNNEY: Private Eye!

Following yesterday's sexual assault and robbery in Boystown, Alderman Tom Tunney has strapped on his well-worn superhero outfit. In typical post-tragedy fashion, the alderman is portraying himself as a hands-on crime-fighter, telling Facebook readers
I have been working closely with the Chicago Police Department on this case.
We've often wondered exactly what the alderman brings to the investigative process. Lifelong restauranteur by day, ace criminologist by night?

Super Tom! He helps with robbery sprees!
I am working very closely with Commander Voulgaris
He crushes drunks!
We are also working closely with the 19th District entertainment detail
He swoops in on burglary outbreaks!
Tom Tunney says he is working closely with the 19th District police commander..
And still more robbery sprees...with junior assistant superhero staff members!
My staff and I have been working closely with Commander Voulgaris to address robberies.
Honestly, Super Tom, if you want to help the police, why don'tcha stop voting for budgets that starve their operations?

Why don't you stand up and publicly demand that the city return the 27% of police officers who've been stripped away from Wrigleyville and Boystown over the past two years?

Why don't you demand that the police superintendent—who flat-out ignored your written questions about the police budget—be held accountable?

Why don't ya work closely on that stuff?
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