Sunday, September 01, 2013

LABOR PARTY: Holiday Weekend Draws Delinquents

Two men stole a whopping 20 bottles of Familia Camarena tequila worth a total of $400 from the 7-Eleven store, 3700 N. Broadway. The suspects are described as
1) male, black, 30s, wearing a white t-shirt with red lettering on the chest, white shorts, and a black baseball cap.
2) male, black, salt and pepper hair, 45 years old, white shirt, black jeans, carrying a black backpack.
A resident of the 1700 block of West Roscoe complained that their neighbors had been blasting music since Friday. The 911 call taker also heard the caller report that the partiers tied four ham hocks to a tree and "it doesn't look safe." Hammocks, maybe? Darned cell phone connections.

Witnesses reported that cases of beer were being stolen from the Theater on the Lake concession stand at Fullerton and Lake Shore Drive. The two male white offenders were followed northbound on the lakefront trail. Police took one into custody, but the second thief slipped away around Belmont. The still at-large offender is described as a male, white, 6-feet tall, thin, shirtless, blonde hair, plaid shorts, carrying a blue bank bag that contained $1000 cash. Case #HW432821.


  1. citizen activistSep 2, 2013, 1:25:00 PM

    since the effects of the Koolaid seem to be wearing off of ald. cappleman, maybe we can approach him about introducing an ordinance whereby certain individuals, by virtue of continuous behavior patterns that negatively impact the community in general, not be allowed out of whatever dwelling they occupy unless they are dressed in full-on clown attire. this will only be required of them while they are outside of their dwelling and will be in enforcement for an indeterminate period of time. If they violate these conditions, at all, part 2 of the ordinance will be put into effect, in the form of a public PILLORY,hands and head restrained, in the general vicinity of where their offences have been committed, to be pelted with overly ripened or spoiled produce ONLY. it is not the ordinances intent to cause great bodily harm as described in the Ill. St. criminal code. please join me in supporting this prosal. thank you fellow community members.

  2. Have you seen how Tunney dresses? He could not be shamed by having to wear a clown would be an improvement.