Wednesday, September 18, 2013

GROUP ACTION: Apparent Cornelia Battery Victim Posts To Craigslist

It looks like the victim in last night's 3 vs. 1 attack on Cornelia west of Halsted still has his sense of humor intact. He appears to have posted a "Missed Connection" on Craigslist calling out the trio.

One note: The poster states that he now realizes that the thugs took some items that he just purchased at a drug store.  If we were the victim, we would be sure to contact the police department to update our report because the crime now appears to qualify as a robbery.

Lord knows the police brass make every effort to downgrade robberies to lesser crimes such as theft. It's only right that this incident be properly categorized to accurately reflect the circumstances.

We are pleased to read that the victim seems to be doing well. Sincere thanks, too, to all of the neighbors who called for help and, apparently, tried to pursue the attackers. Together, we will get through all of this.

CWB cannot verify the authorship of the post, but here it is:

Youthful mugging group... - m4m - 32 (Lakeview.) 
Last night, I had a special missed connection.  
I have a head cold, decided to make a fast run to the all night pharmacy to pick up some cough medicine and a bottle of Gatorade. 
Pulling up to my building on my bike and thinking only about crawling into bed, I was lucky enough to meet the group of you. Two fellows in front (one wearing an orange shirt and black pants, the other wearing green and yellow), one transexual (man in a wig, or a very ugly actual lady) behind, and a fourth shadowy figure behind them all. You surrounded me, punched my ear, and made me fall of my bike as I was trying to dismount.  
No doubt, you did not think that I would start screaming loudly enough to wake the dead. It was like a 14 year old girl in the front row of a Bieber concert...the noise that came out of my mouth was loud enough to get 10 different people to call 911 and heads appeared in every window.  
I think you rethought whatever you were trying to do, seeing as you were in a populated and rather awake area...and chose to surround me literally under the 'good grief these are bright' lights outside of my building with three people walking dogs in the immediate vicinity. 
You all ran away, and the last I saw of the sexy tranny was her wig as she jumped under the el tracks, being pursued by a fellow who was walking his pair of huge dogs. 
Hey hot stuff, let's all get together sometime when I am a little less snuffly. And maybe without the punching. 
It was not until the morning that I realized you took the bag containing the cough syrup and the half consumed red gatorade with you as you ran off....I hope that you are smart enough to realize drinking the gatorade might make you need the cough syrup. I am concerned about your well being and hate the idea that I might have passed along germs. 
But, is there any chance I can get the receipt that was int he bag? I put that purchase on the corporate card, and need the paper to back it up for my expense report.
Location: Lakeview. 
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests 
Posting ID: 4075649294 Posted: 2013-09-18, 12:47PM CDT email to a friend


  1. Has anyone noticed the new recurring narrative? "They're coming here to enjoy the neighborhood."

  2. The FBI has now named Chicago as the murder capitol of the US. Since Rahm says crime is so low here, the rest of the nation must be extremely safe!

  3. We started hanging up signs along the street poles and within the residential areas to raise awareness of the dubious #1 ranking in Robberies. crowdfynd is part of the growing chorus of voices who are looking to help turn outrage into action. Organize, plan and share info so others don't fall victim.

    Fantastic job to the fine citizens who operate this stellar blog and the loyal readers who evangelize the true state of the neighborhood.

  4. Thank the lord for humor. Well done, sir!

  5. Can you please hang one of those signs in front of the Center on Halsted?

  6. Hey "Missed Connection!", it sound like u've been working out in the opera academy. Good 4u, I'm only sorry u went thru what u did. God Bless U & heal U. U surely have a guardian angel :)