Friday, August 02, 2013


Remember. When calling 911, it is important to give the most accurate description of the offender as possible. Just like our neighbors in Uptown do:

1 August 2013, 7:37PM
DISPATCHER: We got drinking on the public way at 4400 North Sheridan being called in by Alderman Cappelman. He says 6 to 7 are drinking on the public way.
OFFICER: 10-4.

1 August 2013, 7:40PM
DISPATCHER: Okay. Now we've got an intoxicated woman arguing with the alderman at 4400 North Sheridan. She's a female, black, she's . . . uh. . . okay. . . she's missing an eye. . . uh, missing an eye. . . uh. . . she has a red hat on backwards and she's walking toward the Jewel with a fifth of vodka in her pants. Uh. . . okay. . . now it says she is a man dressed as a woman. Man dressed as a woman, uh, blue shirt, gray jeans and, uh…and the vodka is between her legs inside her pants. One eye.

1 August 2013, 9:33PM
DISPATCHER: Hey, [Unit], that lady with the red hat and one eye is at Sheridan and Montrose. She's drinking at the northbound AND the southbound bus stops!


  1. paul@justoneperson.netAug 2, 2013, 3:34:00 PM

    ::snorting water out of nose:: Oh I see "One-Eye Hildy is at it again."


  2. Tunney would tell her "well you just have one eye!"

  3. Anonymous said...
    Tunney would tell her "well you just have one eye!"

    Jimmy Kimmel, everybody. Give it up for him!

    Thank you for the weekend laugh, Anonymous.

  4. I love Cappelman, the dude is a bad-ass in his own way.

  5. I'm an Uptown resident, and I am sorry about our massive army of bums who wander into your territory to cause mayhem. You cannot shop or eat ANYWHERE without one of them interrupting you at some point in your journey.

  6. That's awesome that Cappelman is confronting the flagrant law-breakers himself. A lot of these guys/gals get off on trying to intimidate. Whenever they gather by the COH, I walk right through them and none of them has ever said anything to me.

  7. Uptown, yo! Represent! Both sides of Broadway between Montrose and Sunnyside are an obstacle course of junkies, crackheads, bums laying on the sidewalk, panhandlers, and methadone clinic patrons. It makes the walk to Target so colorful!

    No, seriously: sounds like the crackhead wandering around and occasionally laying on the ground at the last concert at Buena Circle Park. Our gal gets around!

    Like a pp, I humbly apologize for the riffraff drifting down B'way & Sheridan towards you-all. *smh*